Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Can't Beat the Goodness of Friends

4 months ago I cried when I found out I got what I thought was going to be the road to many good things for me. Everyone told me how lucky I was to find that job that fit so well at such a young age.

"People wait for long periods of time to find that job that fulfills what they really want to do in life, so kudos to you for finding something now and not putting it off."

Those were encouraging words 4 months ago. I was on cloud 9. Of course the job wasn't exactly what I wanted to do but I was hoping over time and with some experience under my belt I could work my way up. I was absolutely thrilled.

Yesterday that road shut down. I can look at the situation in many ways but I learned my lesson and was grateful for the time I had there but have to face that it wasn't what was meant to be. Myriads of thoughts and scenarios went through my mind the minute I heard "We're letting you go." First, how would I tell my husband that I had lost my job and now we were both unemployed? It made me sick to my stomach. I really felt like I had failed him. He couldn't do anything to help his situation with his job and I was feeling responsible for helping to ease the burden in the coming months both emotionally and financially. All of that came crashing down yesterday and it hit me like a brick.

Not going anywhere in life.
Can't amount to anything.
Horrible wife.

These are all things that ran through my mind as I drove home fighting back tears. Driving and crying do not coincide and I should know this by now.

I came home to the loving embrace of my husband who let me cry and then put things in perspective for me. He assured me that things will be okay.

I instantly texted some close friends of mine that have been very supportive in the past through months through all these recent low points in my life and they instantly were able to cheer me up. Kat and Jenn, you guys really are a treasure.

I'm facing the fact that tomorrow I'm going back to ask for a job back that I'd never thought I'd be doing again. Do I want to wait tables again? Not really. But I have to buck up and do what I can to mend things. I know that I'm great at it, there are some great friends there, it's a job I'm familiar with and it's money and those are all positives in light of the current situation. A year and a half ago when I left Friday's I didn't I'd be stepping back in that door ever again as an employee but after tomorrow that all might change.

I'm grateful at this point for whatever I can get and I've already had so much support from many people.

Tonight I was reminded that even in the down and darkest moments there's always always always a silver lining. That silver lining is very bright and that's the good friends that I have from my Zumba world. Zumba hasn't just been the way I get my good cardio workout 2-3 times a week, but it's become a community of people that have been very supportive and welcoming of me, and I've gained some amazing friends from it all. The past 4 or 5 months have been some of the most trying months of my life with car problems, financial issues, a death in the family and now job loss but these friends have been tried and true through it all.

Kat showed up tonight to visit and cheer me up and she came bearing gifts, which was completely not expected and I almost found myself fighting back tears at the kindness of these friends. They may think that their gift to us was small in comparison to the current situation we are facing, but it was big on so many levels.

I am so so grateful that there are people like this on the planet and I feel so blessed that these people are in my life. Thank you for your kindness and compassion to a friend who is really struggling to see the good in life at the moment. You've reminded me that there's always an upside to every down.

This post isn't really photography related but I needed to express these things somehow. Dear friends, again thank you for friendship to me. It is a great treasure.

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